Speaking Out

Sometimes we speak out to try to change the world, and other times we speak to try to keep the world from changing us. Ellie Weisel, Holocaust Survivor

The recent acts of terror in India are heavy on my heart this morning. Part of me wants to quiver in fear; if it happened "next door" it could happen here. I am also so sad for those who have had to suffer through this, both the victims and their families. Part of me is afraid that this will only fuel the fire of hatred against Muslims, will only increase the fear that many people feel. Today I am writing, not to change the world, but to keep this event and others like it, from changing me.

I just returned from a staff conference where our mixed staff of Muslims, Christians, Hindus and Buddhist met together. We learned, we laughed, we interacted with each other and it was beautiful. We talked about our uniqueness as such a diverse organization, how we are like a big family. Have we found the perfect way of doing things? Not at all! Do we always get along? No. But we are trying and that gives me hope.

What concerns me this morning is the way labels are being used. As far as I know the recent happenings in India were acts of terror, carried out by Muslims. But that does not make all Muslims terrorists. Terrorism is defined as the unlawful use of violence to frighten people or accomplish a goal. I'd like to point out that there is "terrorism" all around us, in every religion. In some places it is just covered up a bit more but that doesn't make it any less terrible to the victims. If a Christian pastor molests young children, is he not causing them to feel terror? Is he not, then, a terrorist? Does this make all Christians terrorists? What about child traffickers? What about those who visit sex workers who have been forced into the trade? The list could go on...

It is true that there are writings within Islam that condone acts of violence against those who do not share their faith. But is it not also true that "Christian" leaders have pulled out portions of Scripture to support acts of violence against others? When will we ever learn that you cannot fight violence with violence and win. No matter who you are.

I want to challenge all of us, especially myself, to live my life in such a way that even my most bitter enemy will not have reason to hate me. To treat each person, regardless of race, religion, age, gender or status, the way I would like them to treat me.

I don't like to be labeled. Do you?

Akash

In the middle of Old Dhaka, down a very noisy, narrow and crowded alley, there is a house. The rooms are full of women and children who come for many reasons. For some, it is to be near the hospital where a sick child is being cared for. For some, it is a safe place to nurture the unborn life within them, a place where they are treated with love and not shame. It has become a home for abandoned children and a transitioning place for orphans. Some friends and I spent some time walking through the different rooms. There were several classes going on and the younger children were very enthusiastic about singing for us. I noticed an older girl sitting with them who has hydrocephalus. I am fairly certain I saw her 10 years ago when we visited and she was then quite small. Her mother abandoned her at the hospital at birth, when she saw there was something wrong with her. She has spent her whole life at the house. Her movements were slow but she was full of life and kept starting new songs for the children to sing for us.

We passed some unwed expectant mothers on the stairs and my heart nearly broke to see how young they are. In a culture where the girl is nearly always blamed for such things (though it is rarely her fault, from what I have seen and heard) I cannot imagine what they must be going through. Upstairs we came to a room for handicapped children. My first thoughts were , " I don't know what to do here." As I started to interact with them, I began to see more than twisted bodies that needed to have their diapers changed and their teeth brushed. I saw gorgeous smiles, brilliant minds and the capacity for deep feelings, both joy and sorrow. This morning I was reading how God chose things despised by the world, things that counts as nothing at all to bring to nothing what we think important. I thought to myself, " Yes, that is them all right." I had to think of the one girl who could barely sit, who was copying the drumming patterns I was doing on the floor. She was brilliant! Another mischievous little one kept throwing her toy so that I would pick it up and give it back to her. She had a delightful laugh! Another one was talking to me in her own way, only I was not so brilliant when it came to understanding her. Then there was the little boy who was crying his little heart out, feeling so unloved and uncared for. They said he gets really jealous if others are getting attention and he is not. The poor dear. He wasn't just crying because of the rejection of the moment, he was feeling a lifetime of rejection and his pain went deep. These children feel so deeply, are so aware of life and what really matters. There is nothing stupid about them.

We went on and found a few toddlers, but by this age, if they are normal, most have been adopted. A young mother came over with her darling newborn son. As my friends took turns holding him, I asked her if she had given him a name yet. She told me his name is Akash, which means "sky". I was excited because that is Pruitt's Bengali name so we talked about that a bit. I found some more babies to hold; they were all so adorable! There seemed to be a mixture of mothers and volunteers, checking on the babies, changing and feeding them. It was beautiful to watch. After a while, the Sister in charge of the ward came in and changed little Akash. She had a small audience and I wondered what was going on. Soon I noticed his mother was there, talking and shedding some tears. It was then that I realized she was saying good bye. We had just been talking about the adoption process with one of the Sisters and suddenly it was happening before our eyes. It was so hard to see it from this end. Soon we were all crying with the mother. Her pain was so real. But what strength, what bravery, and what love! She knew if she kept him, he would be treated shamefully as he grew up. By giving him away to a family who is going to great lengths to make it appear that he is their birth child, he will have a chance to grow up with dignity.

When I see my own Akash and when I see a gorgeous blue sky, I am reminded of a brave mother who loved her son enough to give him away. I have even more respect for families on both ends of adoption. My brother and his wife are in the process of 2 adoptions at the moments and through the last 18 months I have gotten a glimpse of the excitement, the unending paperwork and expenses, the heartrending long waits, the eagerness, the thrill of the words "we have a girl!"

Kudos to all you out there who have the courage and love to pursue adoption. You are doing a beautiful thing. And to those have given your child up, for reasons others may not understand, you have so much courage. To those of you who have been adopted, you can hold on to feelings of rejection or you can trade them in for the realization that you are wanted more than most of us.

To the rest of you, if you know anyone in the adoption process, find ways to support them. No one should have to go through labor and delivery of any kind alone.

To Baby Blue and your brand new baby sister, we love you so much and are so so happy that you are going to be part of our family. Your cousins can not wait to come home and meet you! Neither can I.

To Baby Akash and his mother, you will always have a place in my heart.

My Knight In Shining Armor

Riley has been sick again, the last couple of days. He had a nasty cough accompanied by an ear ache and fever. So we took a trip to the doctor yesterday. He slept all night last night and woke up feeling much better and we are all happy about that!


Between the trip to the doctor and then a trip to the grocery store, we probably spent a couple of hours sitting in traffic. I didn't time it, but it sure felt like it! Every time I go out lately, it has felt like there is more traffic than usual and it has been harder to find transportation, especially to go across town. On the way to the doctor, the driver said that he was told that every day 450 new cars are coming into Dhaka. No wonder! This is one time I really wish I could blame things on my imagination, but the reality is that this city is fuller than ever! I am so grateful that my job allows me to stay home most days. Since the kids are all back in school today, I am going to relish the quiet and clean my nasty looking ceiling fans and hopefully get some food made ahead for the weekend.

Waiting At The Airport

There is nothing like chocolate donuts and coffee to pass the time! We got to the airport early and had some time on our hands so we found a great coffee shop and had one last treat.


The boys did so good and kept themselves entertained as we waited. Our flight ended up being delayed but we were just so happy to be flying instead of having the long bus journey that we didn't mind the wait too much.


The boys eventually dug beyond the coloring books that were in their bags and found packs of skittles and other snacks and were quite happy!


The boys were already making plans to return to India and visit the Taj Mahal. We shall see. In the meantime, we are home in Dhaka and doing well.

Heading Home

Here we are, all piled in the taxi, ready to head for the airport.


We were so blessed to be able to fly home and were able to borrow a suitcase and load it with some things we can't get here or were just really cheap there. It was quite fun!

More of India

My men - aren't they wonderful! One of them was completely tuckered out at the end of a very fun day, but the other one is just pretending. I'll let you guess which one is faking it.


While we ladies were filling grocery carts with all kinds of goodies, the guys tried in vain to find a taxi to take them home and ended up taking this horse and carriage.


Riley and a friend, enjoying a cool drink.


One of the many amazing meals we were served at our friends' house.

Rewind to India

I promised you some more pics from our trip to India and here they are. The trip to the arcade was definitely a highlight for the boys.


Riley had a blast playing air hockey!


Here is Jensen, racing for all he is worth.


And here is Pruitt. Can you guess what he just did?

Blessed

Well, here I am again! It has been a very full week since I was last here. Unfortunately, Austin has the camera with him so I am not able to upload photos of our last days in Kolkata. They were such good days, full of special times with our friends, last minute shopping and, the highlight of all for the boys, a morning spent in an arcade. We had planned to go to a water park but, by the time they felt up to it, the weather had turned and it was cold and wet. So our host took them to an awesome arcade and treated them to hours of fun. Jensen declared that it was better than going to a water park! By the time we left Kokata, they were all glad that we had come, in spite of the tough days of being sick. For me, it was such a humbling experience to be served with such love and generosity. Our host family went out of their way again and again, taking us places, feeding us delicious meals, going out at all hours of the night for medicine, bringing pizza in to the hospital, watching the boys so Austin and I could finish our shopping, doing loads of laundry ( and some of it really gross too, I won't go into details), brewing pots of coffee, talking, listening, laughing, encouraging. I am more comfortable on the giving end; it is hard for me to let someone serve me without trying to pay them back. The whole experience ended up being a real blessing.

Our trip home was another blessing. In the middle of our sickness, we realized we would not be well enough to travel home by train. We had spent hours at the station, buying these tickets. Hours! The train only runs from Kolkata to Dhaka Saturdays and Sundays, so Austin and our host spent a couple hours again at the station, and were able to get most of the money back. Since we didn't want to wait till the next weekend to go home, we knew we would have to take the bus, a 12 hour minimum journey, with a couple of those hours spent at the border, lugging all our bags around, standing in long pushy lines. We were feeling better, but still not 100%. During this time, we had an email from a friend, wondering if we had any needs. When we let her know we would love to be able to fly home instead of taking the bus, she made that possible. Again we were so blessed by friends and were so very grateful! We spent a couple of hours at the airport but there were bathrooms nearby, as well as a coffee shop where the boys enjoyed chocolate donuts ( I have a good photo to post later). The flight itself took 40 minutes and immigration was a piece of cake. It was good to be home again!

That was Tuesday. The rest of the week fly by in a blur. The boys were very happy to get back to school again. It took me a while to get rid of the layers of dust that had accumulated here, as well as catching up with everything else. At least we are healthy again.

We are so blessed!